A trans woman who served in the Canadian Forces says she won’t mark Remembrance Day at a cenotaph or other public event because she doesn’t feel welcome in her community.
As a soldier for 15 years, Leigh Gilbert of Green’s Harbour, in the western Avalon Peninsula, served overseas in the former Yugoslavia and Afghanistan.
She didn’t come out as a trans woman while in the military because of how she feared being perceived, but even now, in the area where she grew up, she has always the feeling that it is not accepted.
“I deal with harassment, abuse and bullying on a daily basis,” Gilbert said. “There is no place to call home, like a normal veteran.”
Gilbert said the harassment usually takes the form of people shouting transphobic statements at her, sometimes during her daily walks.
“Having served your country and been through so much, and just daily abuse on top of that, it can be very difficult at times,” Gilbert said.
Peer support
While in the Canadian Forces, Gilbert served as an armored reconnaissance soldier in the former Yugoslavia and as a tank commander in Afghanistan.
“It was a very masculine and macho job, especially in a combat unit like mine, very conservative, not really for people to be different,” Gilbert said. “I really didn’t think I could continue my career and be myself.”
But since becoming a trans woman, she has been surprised by the kindness and support of the people she has served with.
“It was mind-blowing to see these very masculine men say, ‘Hey, Leigh, as long as you’re happy, we’re behind you,'” Gilbert said.
Move on
Gilbert says she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of her time in Afghanistan and is receiving counseling to deal with her trauma.
As a soldier, she says, she had to take human life and cause comrades to die in battle in her arms.
But the abuse and harassment she experiences in her daily life only adds to her trauma.
“As a trans woman, I kind of had to leave that part of my life and focus on myself and my own well-being,” Gilbert said.
Gilbert said she was considering moving from Green’s Harbor to a bigger center.
Find a way to mark the day
Remembrance Day and the entire week leading up to it are difficult for many veterans, including Gilbert.
On November 11 years ago, she says, she was home alone and drank too much alcohol. This year, with advice from her mental health team, she plans to do something more positive, but it still won’t involve wearing a uniform and going to a local cenotaph.
Instead, Gilbert said she would spend a quiet day on the East Coast Trail, hiking and thinking.
“I will definitely spend a few moments thinking about a lot of truly amazing men and women who have given their lives for Canada,” Gilbert said.
“These people were true heroes, and it was an absolute honor to have been in their presence,” she said.
“Coffeeaholic. Lifelong alcohol fanatic. Typical travel expert. Prone to fits of apathy. Internet trailblazer.”