Karen Stacey opens a creaking stainless steel gate wide, announcing her arrival.
“Hello, Bert. Are you still sleeping?”
She came to see a friend; a sort of soul mate, who changed his life.
“Hi, buddy,” she said with a smile.
Bert turns his head towards her, clearly recognizing his visitor.
His ears point to the sky.
“Hello, handsome,” Karen whispers.
She wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a soft kiss between the eyes.
“It’s a blessing. I couldn’t have asked for a better achievement than having a donkey as my best friend.
Karen Stacey, a Canadian Forces veteran living with PTSD, takes a leisurely walk with her friend Bert (Joel Haslam/CTV Ottawa)
Karen still remembers the first time she and Bert met.
“Bert came up to me and gave me the biggest hug I’ve ever had in my life,” she said.
“I melted and said, ‘This is for me. “”
Karen lives with PTSD. She is a veteran of the Canadian Forces, doing her best to live with a painful past.
“At the very beginning of my career, I was abused. I was 24 years old,” she says.
Although traumatized, Karen felt that reporting her abuse would incur additional costs. Disclosing his mental health issues was not an option.
“I had a security clearance and if there was something wrong with my mind, then I compromised my security clearance.”
So Karen did her best to live with her anxiety. She got busy. She kept herself.
“Everything was quiet, quiet,” she says.
But when she seriously injured herself during a training exercise, it all became too much.
“A 60lb backpack just collapsed my spine so I have massive disc deterioration and chronic pain. At one point I was taking up to 36 pills a day but they weren’t working. just not,” she says.
“After my back injury, everything calmed down. And then I had to reach out and say, ‘Okay, I have a mental health issue,'” she says.
Karen tried conventional physical and psychotherapeutic therapies. They were helpful, but she found she needed more.
That’s when Karen found Bert.
Karen Stacey pauses to hug Bert the Service Donkey during a walk at the Women Warriors Healing Garden (Joel Haslam/CTV Ottawa)
“He has no judgment and makes me really happy. He gives you all the love you need.
Bert is not a pet. And he is much more than a farm animal. He’s part therapist, best friend to people in pain like Karen.
“He’s a special guy. I don’t know if all donkeys are the same, but we love our Bert,” she smiles.
Karen and Bert’s friendship began at the Women Warriors Healing Garden in Blackburn Hamlet.
“It still hurts. So finding this place and being able to let it all go is fantastic. It’s 52 acres of freedom that I can roam however I want. No judgment, no stress, no pain. Just lots of love “, she says.
Co-founded by American veteran, Erin Kinsey, and Ottawa psychotherapist, Elaine Waddington Lamont, the garden is a place of healing for veterans.
Women Warriors Healing Garden co-founders Elaine Waddington Lamont (left) and Erin Kinsey (right) share a fireside chat with Karen Stacey (center) at Women Warriors Healing Garden. (Joel Haslam/CTV Ottawa)
“Whether it’s a woman or an LGBTQ person, we don’t leave anyone hurt on the battlefield. We help them,” Kinsey says.
The Healing Garden offers countless ways for veterans to connect with nature and the environment.
They can garden, learn beekeeping, take care of a chicken coop, take art therapy classes or take walks with Bert
Lamont says the experiences take them away from their pain and help them focus on living in the moment.
“Part of healing is learning where the safe places are through your senses,” says Waddington Lamont.
“They realize ‘the things I’ve been through, the challenges, they’re not there right now, and I can feel safe. I can take a few steps towards recovery and healing.
According to Waddington Lamont, women make up about 15% of serving members of the Canadian Forces and about 15% of veterans.
“A minority in number and they have traditionally been underserved in terms of the programs available to them,” she says.
“Unfortunately, there are times when women and members of the 2SLGBTQ community have suffered injuries related to sexual trauma or sexual harassment and may not feel comfortable in a group of other veterans who may include men,” she says.
“It gives them a space of their own.”
“It’s a place where people can come and engage in post-traumatic growth,” says Kinsey.
“They can build relationships with other vets; true and deep relationships. They can feel empathy for each other and for animals. It demonstrates that we are all part of an improvement process.
This empathy is undeniably visible between Karen and Bert.
“Donkeys really have their favorite people and Karen and Bert are really connected,” Kinsey says.
“He wants to cuddle her and cuddle her and be right by her side. She is his person,” says Waddington Lamont.
A sign at the Women Warriors Healing Garden, the home of Bert the donkey (Joel Haslam/CTV Ottawa)
And Karen Stacey thinks Bert is helping her get better.
“He feels me,” she said.
“If my heart rate increases, it will stop. He won’t move. And he just wants me to hug him. So, I’ll hug him and pet him and he’ll put his face in my face and we’ll keep walking.
Karen says she is walking to a better place.
“Bert just give me peace.”
And for this soldier, that’s it.
Karen’s donkey is her hero.
“He knows a broken heart is coming and he’s fixed it.”
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